Friday, December 5, 2008

The pregnancy epidemic

About six months ago... It's a question that every parent fears. "Where do babies come from?" For me, when the question arose it felt like something out of a horror movie. My heart began to pound like the hooves of a racehorse and my thoughts were racing through my mind... which story should I choose. I thought back (yes, WAY back), to what my mother told me... OH DEAR LORD... no way, that version was entirely too graphic and disgustingly detailed. It sounded like she was reading it from a medical journal. So I went with the stork version. She laughed and didn't believe me, but the distraction worked. I dodged that one... now hopefully it won't come back up for 15 more years.

About three months ago... Corey, Lauren, & I had to go to the dermatologist for our annual skin checkup. Unfortunately we were both blessed with beautiful skin that loves close attention from a doctor and we passed that on to our lovely daughter. Knowing my husband, I scheduled our appointments together so he couldn't sneak out the back door or just find something else that HAD to be done at that specific moment. So Lauren was lucky enough to have front row seating while I had a mole removed from my belly. (I was sad, it was a dark freckle that looked more like a beauty mark, I thought it was cute. AND I'm not fond of being cut but it was potentially a hazard to my health so it had to go).

The following day... I was taking Lauren to the park and in a sing-song extremely excited voice, Lauren exclaimed "Mommy, you're going to have a BABY." Since God has gifted this little girl with the ability of knowing things that she shouldn't KNOW yet, I was amused and ready to hear what she had to say.

Mommy: "Why do you say that Lauren?" (Dreading that her next words would be that my belly was getting big... I gain 5 pounds and she notices).

Lauren: "Because Mommy, I SAW the doctor put the baby in your belly yesterday."

Mommy: "OH So that's how babies get in your belly... well I thought that the doctor was just removing a mole for Mommy."

Lauren: "No Mommy, he took the mole & left you a baby... and it's going to be a girl so that I can have a sister".

Mommy (Totally waving my white flag; she is very strong-willed and doesn't give up easily so I've learned to pick & choose my battles. If I fought them all it would be difficult to hold onto my sanity) : Honey, Daddy is the only man that can give Mommy any babies and I think that he already gave me the ONLY two babies that he had. And I love the babies that he gave me because they are the best. (At this time my fingers & toes are all crossed in hopes that she accepts that and we can move on).

She didn't say anything else & I thought that book was closed.

A month ago... we were all gathered around at my parents home with ALL my siblings & their spouses and my brother. My brother was watching Corey & I with our nieces & nephews and asked us if we were going to have more kids. I said no and left it at that... But Lauren couldn't. She piped in saying, "No, they can't have any more, Daddy has had a vasectomy." At this point, all I can say is THANK GOD I had just swallowed my drink otherwise it would have come flying out of my mouth. Everyone around us erupted in laughter... just hearing the words from a 3 yr old's mouth and knowing that she understands what it means baffled them all... and me. So much for the stork or the magic dermatologist stories.

In all honesty, I can't blame the girl for being curious. She is only three. There are ten, yes you read correctly... 10... little cousins under 4 yrs old. So in her little lifetime, she has always had two to three pregnant aunts & mom at all times. There has not been a time in her life where at least one of the adult females around her were not pregnant. So the curiosity is justified. But then yesterday I looked in the backseat and saw this...

Lauren was sitting in the back seat with her belly all poofed out and she was rubbing it as if she was pregnant (and sucking her thumb... and no I did NOT rub my belly & suck my thumb while I was pregnant. At least not at the same time. Just kidding).

So I asked her what she was doing and she told me that she was "just rubbing her baby" . I couldn't help myself... "well honey I hope you can be patient because you have to wait for 27 more years AND until you are married before your baby will be finished growing. With a sweet smile Lauren just responded, you're so silly Mommy. I laughed & said no I'm SOOOO serious.

Disclaimer: I know that I REALLY need to start carrying a camera because the camera on my phone just really doesn't do "life" justice... but it's better than nothing.


Lisa said...

Funny what they'll say!

Mya922 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mya922 said...

Ran across your blog and thought it was quite adorable. I have a 5 year old daughter who belives my son was born out of my mouth. (cause I swallowed the baby of course) ;)

heidi said...

Aren't they so funny? I can't belive some of the things my girls have said. LOL