For the most part I could say that I gave birth to two of the sweetest, snuggly, loving children.
I might add, who run VERY fast and love being chased. His giggles while being pursued are the sweetest sound.
And who may someday be voted as the class clown. She loves to see people laugh and will gladly act as goofy as it takes to bring smiles to those around her.
However, like every child they have moments that make me wonder what they are thinking, or if they are even thinking at all.
Life with these two is constant comedy.
Recently I came across an old notebook with so many funny stories of the kids and lists pertaining to them when they were younger. This one may make you giggle, just plain gross you out, or both. Enjoy.
So me of these things I thought that I would never say because of the effect that these words had on me, others are phrases I thought that I would never say because I thought that they sounded ridiculous, and THEN there are the phrases that I thought that I would never NEED to say… or at least I hoped that I wouldn’t..
“Evan stop licking food off your sister’s fingers.”
“Because I said so.” (The classic among all generations).
“Please quit trying to EAT the dogs ears… she doesn’t bite your ears.”
“I know you are tired when we get home you can take a nap, but there’s no reason to be overdramatic and lay down in the street.” To which my child replied, “I DON’T NEED A NAP… just a very short rest time… like 5 seconds or so but NOT in my bed because I might fall asleep and I DON’T NEED A NAP.”
“Please take your feet off the table, we are at a restaurant.”
While eating lunch with my brother-in-law and one of his buddies, my husband, and the kids…
“Is HE Uncle ____’s boyfriend?”
“No sweetie. Your uncle doesn’t have a boyfriend, just a girlfriend.”
After being bombarded with more questions at the table with her uncle and his friend directly in front of us, I whispered, “Shhhh, I will tell you what a girlfriend & boyfriend is later tonight.” I was totally wanting to postpone this conversation until she was 18 years old!
“Please stop spitting your gum in my hand, please put it in the trash. And please stop trying to put it my hair.”
“Please take the rock out of your mouth. We don’t eat rocks!! They hurt your teeth and you could choke on it.” (Do I really need to explain why we don’t eat rocks? seriously). Just the thought still makes me laugh.
“Stop biting my shirt. We don’t eat clothes.” Once again, I am amazed that I have to tell them this… boys are so different from girls!
“I think that it’s awesome that you want to clean up the dog poo, but please use a poo bag or the shovel. DON’T pick it up with your hands.” This was my husband… just kidding. LOL. He’s going to kill me for that.
“Please don’t lick the spoon that we use to stir the dog food.”
“This is going to hurt me more than it will you.”
“Please stop touching your man-parts.” (I thought that I would have to say that when he was 12 years old, but not 2 years old).
Now that the kids are older, I have many new “Never Sayings”. So I just may have to have a sequel to this post in the future. That is, IF your stomachs can handle it.