Friday, January 18, 2013

It's time to brush off the dust.


(“Superman Ultimate Flight” is a new coaster at Six Flags in Vallejo.

It has been almost three years since I have added a "real post".  When it comes to blogging sometimes it is hard to walk the fine line and protect your family and not share too much information with the world.  However at the same time, you want your blog to remain authentic and not seem like your life is some sort of fictional utopia where REAL LIFE never occurs.  One of my favorite blogs is like a dream and I can honestly say that as I sat there reading how perfect life was, I began to feel even more alone.  I felt alone because I couldn't relate.  I felt alone because my dad was dying, my marriage was crumbling and I was walking (or rather juggling) on eggshells to make sure that everyone was happy.   My Facebook page was filled with inspirational posts about strength because I needed all I could muster and God's love because I needed more than anything to feel it.  Not just to feel His love but to feel his arms wrapped around me giving me a bear hug, reassuring me that He was in control and that even if my husband did decide to file for divorce to find out if the other grass was really greener (which he did - we still owe a small fortune in legal fees - and then came back) and to remind me repeatedly that I would be able to catch my breath again after burying my dad.

Needless to say the last few years have been busy and one of the scariest wild roller coasters that I have ever endured.  Don't get me wrong, I love roller coasters but not like that.  I am ready to get off this ride and kiss the ground.

I would love to say that the ride was slowed down recently and I can... it did for a few days then I realized that it was just making yet another high climb to prepare for yet another scary decent.  While recent events seem to make life feel like a roller coaster gaining speed for an upcoming debut I am hoping and praying that it is the finale and soon I can get off.

I am ready to dig my fingers into the cold ground and vow to stick to ferris wheels from now on.

To Blog or Not to Blog, that WAS the question.

For years I chose to not say anything, to keep to myself but in doing so I am not helping anyone.  I am not helping me or someone that God may have sent to this blog to be able to relate and gain hope from reading that life isn't always living in a paradise but it is about overcoming difficult situations with God's help and living through them with a thankful heart.

I am a strong believer in protecting my family so there are details in my life that will remain private so I will be following a few AMM Blog Rules:

No hanky panky.  I'm so sorry but there will not be any 50 Shades of Grey stories posted here.

No he said / she said conversations.  I will repeat again what I said earlier about protecting my family.

No hate.  I do believe that God wants us to learn to be thankful in the midst of storms and in doing so we are also able to find peace.  I can't remember ever being able to be thankful when my heart was full of hate.  It just doesn't work.

You might become more acquainted with roller coaster lingo than you want to be while I am trying to find the right words to share information with you without giving details.

No hair pulling.  This is not a gossip column and I will not be naming names, God knows who they are and I know that He has a way of taking care of things.  It truly is amazing how God works.  I love witnessing how He can turn a bad situation into a beautiful blessing.  He did just that for me two years ago and I will spend the rest of my life being thankful.

Mendenhall glacier

My thankful list:
I am thankful of the beautiful painting of Mendenhall Glacier that my Grandfather-In-Law painted for us as a Christmas gift.  Each time I look at it I smile and think of my family.


Anne said...

I'm so happy you're back. And bravo for being real about life on the blog. Writing has been really freeing for me over the past year, and I have 'met' a lot of wonderful amazing people by just being honest about life's blows - and God's grace. It's, or rather He, has been really good.