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Sunday, April 26, 2020

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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Jessica Stubbs

Friday, January 18, 2013

It's time to brush off the dust.

Rollercoaster

(“Superman Ultimate Flight” is a new coaster at Six Flags in Vallejo.

It has been almost three years since I have added a "real post".  When it comes to blogging sometimes it is hard to walk the fine line and protect your family and not share too much information with the world.  However at the same time, you want your blog to remain authentic and not seem like your life is some sort of fictional utopia where REAL LIFE never occurs.  One of my favorite blogs is like a dream and I can honestly say that as I sat there reading how perfect life was, I began to feel even more alone.  I felt alone because I couldn't relate.  I felt alone because my dad was dying, my marriage was crumbling and I was walking (or rather juggling) on eggshells to make sure that everyone was happy.   My Facebook page was filled with inspirational posts about strength because I needed all I could muster and God's love because I needed more than anything to feel it.  Not just to feel His love but to feel his arms wrapped around me giving me a bear hug, reassuring me that He was in control and that even if my husband did decide to file for divorce to find out if the other grass was really greener (which he did - we still owe a small fortune in legal fees - and then came back) and to remind me repeatedly that I would be able to catch my breath again after burying my dad.

Needless to say the last few years have been busy and one of the scariest wild roller coasters that I have ever endured.  Don't get me wrong, I love roller coasters but not like that.  I am ready to get off this ride and kiss the ground.

I would love to say that the ride was slowed down recently and I can... it did for a few days then I realized that it was just making yet another high climb to prepare for yet another scary decent.  While recent events seem to make life feel like a roller coaster gaining speed for an upcoming debut I am hoping and praying that it is the finale and soon I can get off.

I am ready to dig my fingers into the cold ground and vow to stick to ferris wheels from now on.

To Blog or Not to Blog, that WAS the question.

For years I chose to not say anything, to keep to myself but in doing so I am not helping anyone.  I am not helping me or someone that God may have sent to this blog to be able to relate and gain hope from reading that life isn't always living in a paradise but it is about overcoming difficult situations with God's help and living through them with a thankful heart.

I am a strong believer in protecting my family so there are details in my life that will remain private so I will be following a few AMM Blog Rules:

No hanky panky.  I'm so sorry but there will not be any 50 Shades of Grey stories posted here.

No he said / she said conversations.  I will repeat again what I said earlier about protecting my family.

No hate.  I do believe that God wants us to learn to be thankful in the midst of storms and in doing so we are also able to find peace.  I can't remember ever being able to be thankful when my heart was full of hate.  It just doesn't work.

You might become more acquainted with roller coaster lingo than you want to be while I am trying to find the right words to share information with you without giving details.

No hair pulling.  This is not a gossip column and I will not be naming names, God knows who they are and I know that He has a way of taking care of things.  It truly is amazing how God works.  I love witnessing how He can turn a bad situation into a beautiful blessing.  He did just that for me two years ago and I will spend the rest of my life being thankful.

Mendenhall glacier

My thankful list:
I am thankful of the beautiful painting of Mendenhall Glacier that my Grandfather-In-Law painted for us as a Christmas gift.  Each time I look at it I smile and think of my family.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Heart Faces Fix-It-Friday #58

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Over at I Heart Faces on Fridays they have a Fix-It_Friday challenge that gives everyone the opportunity to practice fixing photos.  You can also look at all the other contributions of fixed photos to see how others chose to FIX IT and learn from each other.

This is the before photo:

fif#58

I copied the original layer and then began to make changes.

I played with the curves to lighten the photo and then burned the edges to add focus.  I couldn’t help myself… I also added a touch of color to the sky.

I loved the sunburst in this photo!

This is the after:

fif#58-edit

Friday, February 26, 2010

I Heart Faces - Fix it Friday

I am extremely excited.  Due to the million & one things that always seem to pop up on Friday, I haven’t participated in a Fix It Friday… until today.  I am thrilled.

Photography is a hobby that is quickly becoming a passion and I only hope that one day it will become a career.  I have a long way to go and a LOT of learning to do before that happens though.

Today due to the Fix It Friday challenge, I learned how to apply a mask and played with the curves of the photo to get these final results.

This is the before photo:

iheartfaces

This is the after:

iheartfaces-FIF

By playing with the curves I was able to brighten the sky and then lighten her so that we could see her cute little face.

I absolutely love learning about photography.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have many many many photos like this that I need to go back and fix.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Valentine

In 2004, Prince Charming swept me off my feet and I fell madly, hopelessly inlove.  He is a man with amazing character and is truly someone that I could respect.  I love his heart and not only who he is but who he wants to become.

Corey-groom

This is one of our engagement photos. 

I could stare at this photo forever.  He looks so good in blue.  The color is just the perfect backdrop for his gorgeous eyes.

engagement photo

We had an outside wedding planned and at the last minute, all of the plans had to change and we had to move the wedding indoors.  The arrangements didn’t turn out exactly like I had wanted but to be honest… it really didn’t matter to me.  I was marrying the man of my dreams and we were getting ready to start our lives together. 

Kissing - wedding day

Off to the honey moon.

Everyday I fall inlove with this man all over again.  I fall inlove with his character, the way that he touches me, his silliness (yes, even the fart jokes), and his commitment to our marriage.  I will gladly spend my life finding new ways to keep our love alive and growing if that means that I get to hold his hand forever.

Into the sunset - wedding day 

I just couldn’t seem to keep my lips off him.  :-)  Okay, okay.  Just maybe the photographer was telling us what to do, but I was more than happy to oblige.

Kissing again - wedding day

The outdoor wedding would have been amazing and beautiful but it was so hot, muggy (it had rained that morning) and the air felt so thick.  I had to move the event inside to make sure that no one (us or one of the guests) passed out due to the heat.   However we were able to get a few photos in the area where the wedding would have been.  They are definitely some of my favorites.

wedding day

God has blessed our marriage from the beginning.  I have always felt that he was the man that I was supposed to marry.  He was the one that I was waiting for.  We have reached milestones and shared many experiences, both good and bad.  I am so thankful to be sharing this journey with him. 

I love you Corey!  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

They Are Taking Over the World

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I am never disappointed by son’s ability to make me smile.  Yesterday on the way to take Lauren to school, Evan became extremely frustrated.  I could hear his heart rate increase from the front seat before he passionately said, “MOM, why are the bulldozers RUINING our world?” 

 

 

I laughed and explained that they are just making the roads wider and the roads will be much nicer once they finish.

He still didn’t find any humor in the situation,”Well their mommies must not have taught them to clean up their mess before they started something else.”

I was so thankful that I had just swallowed my drink of water because I have no doubt that I would have been wearing it otherwise.

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The child is only three, but in our world he has not seen a road that leads to our home that is Construction-orange-free.  It’s sad to say… there are three different highway/main routes that we can take to get to our home and all three are under construction and have been his entire life.  So from his point of view, the machines are taking over.


Toys R Us

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Of course I do, but do you?

THINGS HE SAYS TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING:

Evan: Mom, do you know where my balls are?

(I have to admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that one.  So I answered it with a question).

Me: Yes, but do YOU know where they are? 

Evan: He giggled hysterically and said “OF COURSE!”

(I still have no idea what “balls” we was referring to at that particular moment).

 

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Monday, January 25, 2010

All about Canon Lenses

This is the lens that I currently own and LOVE dearly.  The images that this little baby takes are just short of magical.  This is the lens that I use for the majority of the photos on this site.  (On occasion I will use a Tamron lens, but it is most definitely not my preferred lens).

 

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EF 50mm f/1.4 USM $389.99

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(Here is a sample photo from the Canon website).

Recently (more like two months ago), I had a few (two) people ask about my thoughts on lenses and what I use.  I’m sorry that it has taken me so long to respond, life “encouraged” me to take a break from blogging. 

Here are some of the lenses that I drool over.  I have used some of them, but I don’t own any of the following lenses.  As you may have noticed, I shoot a Canon camera.  So if you have a Nikon camera, I apologize because I haven’t researched lenses for a Nikon camera body… at all.

 

STANDARD ZOOM:

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The EF-S 17-55mm f/2.8 IS USM $1179.00

A standard zoom lens usually comes in most camera “kits” when purchased.  It is one of those tools that everyone should have in their camera case, if not attached to your camera.  Just looking at the aperture on this lens makes me drool and dream of bokeh (The dreamy-hazy effect on your background that just makes your sharp, crisp subject stand out).  Ahhhh!

 

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The EF-S 15-85mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM $799.99

This is another standard lens that has caught my eye.  The aperture, or f-stop, isn’t as good as the 2.8, the focal length is greater. 

 

TELEPHOTO ZOOM:

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The EF 70-200mm f/2.8L IS II USM *new

This lens is new and will be released in February of 2010.  So Canon, if you are out there and need anyone to test this lens and review it.  I will be more than happy (ecstatic even) to help you out in any way that I can.

 

WIDE ANGLE LENS:

 

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The EF 35mm f/1.4L USM $1479.00

As I told you earlier, the 50mm that I own is a dream.  The only problem that I have with it is that I have trouble with getting group photos.  Anytime that I want to take a family photo or picture of my daughter’s friends at her birthday party I have to switch to a lens that I don’t really like.  Well this beauty would be the answer to that problem.   The wide angle would enable the user to include the entire group or room of people without distorting those in the photo.  I have seen other’s photos that were taken with this lens and was very impressed with how sharp the subject appeared.

I hope this information is what you were hoping to get.  If you have any more questions, I will try to answer them a bit faster next time. :-)

Now I’m off to go play cars with my son.  Of course I will be taking pictures!

Jess

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Completely Twisted

A month ago my step-dad had an accident and died.  Exactly what happened, no one really knows.  All I do know is that his spleen ruptured and then he suffered and died from massive internal bleeding. 

A woman that he worked with called an ambulance and then took him to the hospital.  Hours passed and it wasn’t until the hospital staff suggested that his family be notified she did not call my mom.  Later after this psycho woman threw herself over my stepdad’s dead body and she told my mom that she wanted to become her best friend just so she could remain close to Ronnie’s spirit, we found out that they had an affair.

I am angry.  It is hard enough to watch my mom mourn her husband’s death but equally hard to watch my mom live through the hurt of finding out about his unfaithfulness.  I didn’t respect Ronnie even before his death.  I avoided him but I also accepted him because he was the person that my mom chose to spend her life with.  He was a mooch.  My mom worked and paid for everything, supporting Ronnie so that he could do what he enjoyed.  She wanted him to be happy.  He enjoyed finding treasures and collectibles and reselling them at Flea Markets.  My mom paid for all the items, bought the buildings and stores to house the things, bought him many vehicles and paid for his gas. 

Now my mom is having to pay this woman to get her out of her life.  Ronnie was helping support HER.  It is such a mess.  Karen, the mistress, was stealing the merchandise from the flea market while my mom was busy making funeral arrangements.  The insanity just keeps going on & on.

Now my mom’s world is more than a bit upside down.  My heart is breaking for her.



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UPDATE (or rather explanation): Right after Ronnie passed away, we let HER (the mistress)  run the store while funeral arrangements were being made, family was arriving in town, and people were coming over to pay respects.  We weren’t sure if the rumors were actually true at this point.  We had already been to the store and taken a visual inventory.  It wasn’t until a few days later when my sister walked into the store and witnessed her changing the tags on the merchandise that we became aware that she was stealing.  She was claiming that she was Ronnie’s business partner and so she was going around adding a “k” stating that the item was purchased together and she was entitled to half of the profit. 

By this time, unfortunately, the matter had become a “she said/she said” issue and it was just one person’s word against another.  So it quickly was escalated to a legal matter.  Since we couldn’t prove that it didn’t happen the way she claimed, and we couldn’t prove that she wasn’t a partner we had two options: (1) to buy her out or (2) to let her stay and continue hurting my mom and stealing (adding her initial to the merchandise tags). 

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

True Happiness

I know that we are only 4 days into the year but I just have a feeling that 2010 is going to be a GOOD good year.  I am so sorry, that song has been stuck in my head for days.  What 2010 and tonight…. they are interchangeable, right? 

That is one of Lauren’s favorite songs so we play it often.  My little baby girl started preschool in 2009.  It wasn’t bad enough that she already believed that she thought that she was 4 years old so that meant that she ALREADY knew everything, (Her words, not mine) but now she thinks that she is old enough to start planning her wedding.  (I tell her that she has to wait until she is 30).

This little “Know It All” skipped past the stage of life where she felt the “need” to discover herself.  She came out of my womb already knowing.  At the age of 3, she began telling people that she is going to be a “Choirpractor” (chiropractor) when she grows up.  (Hey, I have to make a big deal about the way she says it.  It’s the only word that makes her sound like she is 4.  Most of the time, I feel like I am talking to a 20 year old).  She is already saving for college.  I tell her that she has to save her money because mommy & daddy are broke.  (I have to say that every time we go to the grocery store or we would come home with the store.  These kids LOVE to eat and they have high metabolisms).

I joke, but my daughter’s unwavering faith in God is truly refreshing.  She is so strong willed, but as long as that strong will is in line with her faith then she is destined to make this world a better place, whether we like it or not.  She doesn’t have a problem righting things that are wrong, and telling others to do so as well.  (She could care less if the person is supposed to be her authority figure… they better shape up & step up to the plate). 

While I am a little excited that she is so mature for her age, I also can’t help but want to pick her up and snuggle with her and still sing all the sweet lullabies that she begs me to sing for her.  (Pretty soon she will realize that Mommy sings REALLY out of tune).  Life passes so fast, I just want to push pause and hold onto this moment.  Right here.  Listening to her infectious laughter and squeals as she plays in the snow.

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I love her zest for life and how she isn’t afraid to take on a new challenge.  I admire her love to be social.  Ok, for her it’s not so much a love, but a need.  She enjoys being a part of other people’s lives as well as touching there lives and leaving an impression.  She is constantly thinking of others and is daily drawing pictures for multiple people.  Note to family & friends, mailwoman, cable guy, and Don, the electrician:  I am sure that we have at least 20 cards, notes, and pictures for each of you.

It wasn’t that long ago that my OB said that I wasn’t going to have kiddos and then viola!  My little gift from Heaven arrived 11 months later.  She is truly a miracle and has always been one of the greatest blessings that I have ever experienced in my life. 

I am so excited that Corey & I get to share such a blessed experience in parenting this little beauty.

Readers,

Beware.  Lauren turns 5 in ten days so this is probably not the last post dedicated to how much I love Lauren that you will see in the next few weeks.  I may or may not turn into a sappy mess by then. 

Please forgive, misspellings and run-on sentences that may be worse than normal.  It is really late (or early I guess) and I am operating on no sleep. 

Until Later,

Sleepy.  aka Jessica



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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Farewell 2009, and Good Ridden

I didn’t write very much last year because my life was consumed with situations that I “couldn’t” write about. So I was respecting other’s privacy and I am glad to say goodbye to 2009.

I am thankful for all the wonderful life lessons that I learned along the way, and I am thankful for the strengthened relationship that I have with God. We have been through a bit this year now God & I are pretty tight. :-) Ok, maybe I’m still clinging to his pant legs (or robe), but either way I’ve accepted that fact that I need Him dearly. It is because of Him that I can walk out of 2009 a better daughter, friend, wife, mother, and woman.

2009 was quite a year:

A battle with cancer that truly tested limits, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Relational roller coasters

And then the year ended with the deaths of my step-dad and grandmother (my mom’s mom). My poor mom’s world was turned upside down at Christmas.

However I can still say that 2009 was QUITE a year!

My mom is beginning to cope with all the secrets that are being revealed about her husband’s life. My heart breaks for her, but I know that God will pull her through this crazy time.

My dad kicked cancers butt! He had battled with liver cancer while being on dialysis for kidney disease and this Gladiator of a man fought and won. The cancer had grown so big and resisted all chemo, and then after the doctors tried all that they could, we turned to family prayer: all 12 kiddos, and eight grandkids. Then within days the tumor started dissolving… granted it turned into liquid that had to be drained, LOTS of liquid that had to be drained. The draining process took another 2 months, but all is heading in the right direction. We are not completely out of the woods yet, but I am thanking God that my Dad’s appetite is back, that he is looking stronger, healthier, and happier. I’ll write more during another post, because the story is truly amazing. I have received permission to share this wonderful journey with you and to give God all the glory that He deserves. (The doctors are still baffled… and amazed).

All roller coaster rides have been exited and are no longer in operation.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Lost Dog, Will Sleep & Snuggle for Food

A month ago, on Thanksgiving night we nearly hit a dog running across a busy road. Because we were expecting our first big freeze and I can’t bear the thought of an animal suffering, I talked Corey into stopping the car so that I could try to rescue it. That in itself was quite an adventure.

IMG_1274

I thought that we would only have to take care of it for maybe three days, maximum. But no. I have posted this baby on Craigslist and five other animal finding websites, called shelters, taken him for multiple walks 30 minutes away in the neighborhood that we found him (hoping that HE knew where he lived or that the owner would spot us).

A few times, the walks were in freezing rain. All the poor dog wanted to do was quickly pee on every tree in sight and get back to the car. So we still have him.

During one of the walks, the postal carrier told me that people just dump their dogs in that area hoping that they would find a home. It tool me awhile to pick my mouth up off the ground and respond. I just couldn’t believe it.

IMG_1276

The kids have named him Tiny. (I think that he looks like Yoda. This picture makes me laugh. He is pouting. He wants to sit in my lap and I am making him sit a few feet away from me so that I can get some photos. He looks so mistreated and sad).

IMG_1291

He gave up on me. “Fine if I can’t sit on your lap, I’ll just sit on your couch.”

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“No more pictures… I’m on break.”

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“I’m getting sleepy…. very very sleepy.”

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I don’t know very much about Miniature Pinchers, but I think that they just might be part mouse.

IMG_1288

And Tiny Yoda is out. He is the sweetest little dog. Even Corey likes him (and isn’t allergic to him), which is a miracle. I am going to give finding him a home ONE more try then I think that we just might have to adopt him.

I just can’t believe his owner hasn’t claimed him. Someone put in a lot of effort to train him. He’s house trained. He dances with Lauren. (She swears he knows the two-step. She doesn’t even know the two-step). He doesn’t bark inside the house. (I haven’t heard of a MinPin that didn’t bark inside. I’m easily amazed).

Hopefully his owner will suddenly appear. I would be frantic trying to find my puppy. I don’t even want to imagine how sad his owner is without this snuggly puppy.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Such a Sweet Secret Santa!

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There is just something about receiving a package with your name on it in the mail that instantly brightens your day. 

IMG_0806 

Oh. The. Anticipation!

I loved the beautifully wrapped gifts.  I felt like a little kid again.  (Just picture me jumping up & down in my kitchen, while clapping my hands.  Yes.  I know.  I can’t help myself.  Hey, I was excited).

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After I ripped the wrapping paper off like a mad woman, throwing it in all directions.  (A piece or two, may or may not have ended up hanging from the light fixture above the island).  I was shocked by all the great goodies that I discovered. 

A snowman… My secret Santa is a genius.  I have just recently started collecting them and I was thrilled to have another.

Yankee Candle… It doesn’t get much better than this.  (My husband loves this scent!)

A beautiful sparkling ornament

A cute Christmas coffee mug that is just begging me to make some hot chocolate.

Speaking of chocolates… My kids loved these.  I didn’t keep a close enough eye on them and they were devoured. 

The Christmas pillow says it all.  Lauren likes to read it each morning.  It has become part of her daily routine.

And a notebook that makes me want to write.  It is beautiful.  Pinks. Blues. Paisleys.  Roses.  Most definitely a version of heaven for me. 

And suddenly, my world is brighter. 

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I am so thankful to my secret Santa and amazed at how well he/she seemed to know me (and I haven’t made that easy lately… I haven’t blogged in quite sometime).  You have brightened my day.  I really appreciate being thought of. 

Thank you.

J

Merry Christmas everyone.  I hope everyone enjoys celebrating Jesus’ birthday today!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thankful Thursdays

During a search for a blog Thankful Thursdays meme to link to, I found this cute picture at the Rose Colored Glasses that seems to say it all.

Thankful Thursdays Seriously!  I don’t think that anyone else could have said it better (Thanks God). 

 
I was unable to find a blog that hosted this meme and offered a place where others could link and also give thanks, but I did find Grace Alone which seems to be the Home of Thankful Thursdays.  If anyone is interested in joining in giving Thanks then, click on the link and grab a button.  You are welcome to link up here and share your Thankful Thursday blog post or if you would like, please feel free to use the comment section below.
 
I always enjoy hearing from another person’s thankful heart.  It brings a smile to my face and sometimes it can change our own hearts, even revealing things that we may take for granted.

All that being said, here’s my list for this Thankful Thursday:

*** My God

I am so thankful for the love that He has shown me throughout my life.  I am thankful for the grace He has given me and for forgiving me for the stupid mistakes that I have made in my life.  I am thankful for the many amazing blessings that He has given me.  (My kids are the best).  And I thank Him and rely on Him daily to help make me a better person so that I may do HIS will. 

*** My Husband

IMG_0194_coreyI love the way that he makes me laugh.  I love his silliness.   I am thankful that I am married to this crazy man.

*** My Daughter

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I had a hard time choosing just one photo of my little princess.  I love and am thankful for her sweet tender heart.  I pray that she doesn’t have to endure any great hurts that may harden that beautiful heart of hers.  She is so caring and always wants to help take care of others.

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And like her daddy, I love her silliness.  She adores making people laugh and has no problem with making them laugh at her expense.  I pray that her little light will always continue to shine just as bright bringing so much happiness to all around her.

*** My Son

IMG_0104 Oh MY!  Am I ever so thankful for this little man!  He melts my guarded heart with his tenderness.  While some people go out of their way to hurt and cut people down.  He goes out of his way to build people up and make people feel loved.  I pray that this love of his will continue to teach others to be kind and loving and that the world will not change him, but instead he will change the world.

*** Health

Lately, so many people have been fighting sickness and I am very thankful that he have all been fortunate and have remained healthy. I pray for the others that have been exposed to sickness and I hope they all get better soon.

*** My Boxers

IMG_0222 They are the sweetest little yard destroyers that I know.  I do love them and am so thankful that Corey bought them both for our family.  They are a gift that keeps on giving.

*** My Extended Family

We have been blessed with amazing parents, grandparents, siblings and now nieces & nephews.  I am so thankful for all of them.

*** My Camera

I still have so much to learn and am enjoying the journey.  I am thankful for being able to capture so much wonderful memories to share with future generations. 

*** My Online/Offline Friends & Readers

Every individual wants to feel loved and understood and I am thankful for the support and friendship of all.

*** Lauren Lynn

The amazing magician that colors my hair.  ok. Seriously, I just had my hair highlighted and colored and she did an absolutely amazing job.  I love it.  I just want to swish my hair around like the girl from the shampoo commercials.  Thanks Lauren.  If anyone in the Tulsa area wants to make an appointment with her because she is that awesome… her business number is 918-587-2566.

*** A Clean House

 IMG_0113_bCorey bought us a new vacuum.  I am super excited.  For the last few months I have been sweeping our carpet with a broom and borrowing vacuums from  others.  I know that this may be a  silly thing (materialistic) but it’s the convenience and all the free time that I see in my future that makes me excited.   And a clean floor… just the thought of the clean, dust free floor makes me want to roll around on the carpet.  Thank you baby.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

*** Paying it Forward -

Here’s the full story.

I know time is sparse during this time of the year, but if you have a moment to spare I would love to hear why you are giving thanks today.


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